A Letter to my younger self

Dear little me,

I wish you could come back. I wish you would have stayed for some more time with me. I miss you so much.

I miss how my mother used to take care of me when you were here. Although she takes care of me today as well but now she has more other important things to handle at the same time. As she is growing old, health is becoming more important aspect of her life. When you were here, I along with my siblings used to be my mother’s priority.

I miss how I used to wear the clothes brought by my mother. I miss how I used to be ignorant about the clothes I wear, the food I eat and so many other things. Well, it’s a good that I have grown into such an adult person that I can make my own choices for all these things now. But this ability to make choices brings stress with it, as craving for good food and clothes has become an obsession now because now I want delicious food again and again, best clothes to wear at work, parties, family functions and so on. And all this obsession catalyses the stress levels and anxiety.

I miss how every decision used to be taken by my parents in your presence. I miss how I did not need to worry about anything in life. Well again it’s good that now I have become independent enough to take decisions on my own but at the same time the complexity of decisions has also increased.

I miss when I did not able to understand the problems my parents used to discuss. I miss how I used to play and roam here and there carefree. Although I feel quite good now as I can now understand the problems and issues of my family. Now I can also contribute towards the solution of them which basically sorts some of the things in my parents life.

While you were here, I did not used to think much about my siblings, I just used to play with them and parents used to settle all the things. But now, I have to think about their issues as well.

You see how things are happening in your absence. I would say life has become more beautiful now because I can now understand most of the things what I didn’t understand before. I have more control on things, I can prioritise things on my own but you know everything good brings certain complications with itself.

Now, I have so many things to deal with at the same time: family, friends, work and so on. I have to think twice before taking any decision to see whether it will be ok for all of them. None of them will get affected by it. And this happens even while taking a decision for going out with a friend or colleague because I need to see if my parents will be fine in my absence, will work be affected in my absence, will my siblings be able to take care of the family in my absence and a lot like this.

While you were here, I had to take some tests to pass or fail some standard course, I had to study course books to gain knowledge but now there are not so many tests to pass. Life has itself become an exam which teaches me new things and experiences every now and then. Now, I do not need any course exams to get a certificate of pass or fail. I need to sort out all the things happening around me to get a sense of satisfaction, I need to solve all the problems patiently so that everyone gets happy about it.

That’s enough for today. Don’t worry, you do not take stress reading all this. I just wanted to let you know all the things happened since you left me. Wish me good luck taking care of all things.

Love,
Older me